Saturday, March 13, 2010

Sex, lies and STI colonies.

So, I was thinking about sex earlier - and that is meant in the least sexual way, honestly - and how everyone is so afraid to talk about it - like, really talk about it, in a non-joking / sexual harassment sort of way. And yes, it really can be totally embarrassing to talk about, but isn't that the problem? We let ourselves get so caught up in our fears of being embarrassed, that we just push the subject to the periphery of topics to never be discussed in a serious manner outside of health classes and/or hospitals.

I know that I personally would never discuss my sex life with my family, ever ever ever (times infinity). But I also know that it's hugely important to discuss with one's lover/partner/random hook up/etc-you-get-the-point-I'm-trying-to-make. I also know that it often isn't discussed enough, or very thoroughly.

So I'm not saying anyone should ever do a play-by-play of their sex history with the person they're with - because that's just so uncalled for, and will probably kill your relationship (or on the flip-side totally turn your partner on, in which case - awesome for you ((I'd totally ask them first though - as to avoid the above noted problem.)). For most of us, however, it'd be like having hot wax slowly and deliberately dripped onto our eyeballs, not fun.

I just think people should be honest about sexual things. For instance, if you've slept with several people, own up to it - don't just bullshit your way past the point - because that will likely cause problems later, such as when you're all "No, I picked this up from a public toilet seat years ago, I swear." Nobody is buying it. I promise.

And really, what's that embarrassing about the whole thing? Honestly, if you've both had sex before, who are you trying to keep face for? Your opinion (and feelings) for that person shouldn't change if you find out they've been with someone else, I mean - unless it was while you were dating of course (then stab away at them) ((Honestly, I'm kidding.)).

And if your partner won't talk about their history or doesn't want to hear yours, then dump them - because they've obviously got an ulterior agenda. Like infecting you with chlamydia - in order to ultimately sterilize you. Those bastards.

Sex is a really complicated issue, and maybe you shouldn't take my advice - I mean, I've only been in a couple very failed relationships, so what would I know? (Except a lot about being lied to - and how shitty it is, people.)

Sex can totally be amazing when it's with the right person, at the right time in your life and when you trust that that person is being totally honest about where their privates have previously been. That last one really is important - because I doubt anyone wants to later find out they're growing an STI colony on their peep or in their vag.

So, be safe - ask questions and use protection. Also? Get tested regularly, because people do lie. A lot, and with great frequency. You may love them, they may be your best friend, you may have been dating them since you were in high school and you were eachothers firsts - but they may still be hiding something from you.

Find out, because your first allegiance is always to yourself and your own health.