Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Growing up, growing apart, and one best friend.

So this is going to be a sappy / depressing / disparaging post - and yes I know, it's terribly uncool - but I've never really been that concerned about it, so deal with it.

Well, I've come to realize that my (previous? ex? once?) best friend has sort of given up on me, or on us. Years of mocking other people, taking masses of ridiculously staged photographs and eating tons of junk food just couldn't save us from growing up and growing apart it seems. It's been this way for several months when I come to think of it, but at least several months ago we were still talking. Honestly, it's pretty ill-timed, since college is supposed to be the most awesome time of your life - or not, whatever.

Heck, I love my college - and I love what I'm going here for - but what good is all that when my once-upon-a-time best friend wants nothing to really do with me? Sure sure, I could just go and pick out a new one - maybe a slightly flashier one, with less mileage and a wicked wardrobe to borrow from. That'd be the easy way out of this situation. However, it's come to my attention that I'm not the easiest person to get along with. And she sort of accepted all the dramatic flaws and insensible opinions with little, if any, complaint. That's pretty hard to come by, I'd say.

I had tried to persuade her to leave our small-town-roots for awhile, to come see what the slightly-less-small-town life was like. To no avail, of course. She couldn't possibly leave her boyfriend or family (despite how infrequently they see each other, due to schedule conflicts) to move in with me and enjoy our last years of young-adulthood before we have to become real grown-ups. Of course not. How selfish I was, to think of pulling her away from a monotonous job (that she's never cared for) and a mainly-weekend schedule of seeing her boyfriend (even though they live together).

It was complete madness on my part. I see that now. Because, honestly, after expressing my explicit desire of having her here - things fell apart.

Blame me or expunge me, I'm still minus one dearly sarcastic best friend.