Showing posts with label hell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hell. Show all posts

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Heat, cemeteries and hoses.

I think my tolerance to heat has gone down, dramatically.

My parents, my nieces and I went to the cemeteries yesterday to put flowers on everyone's graves - which alone, is fine. But it was nearing the 90 degree weather from
hell. That coupled with two kids under the age of 6 makes life a little suckfestish.


Livy (3, youngest) is very intolerant of heat, so she was being carried by this point - because the little plastic wagon was not good enough to lay in. Obviously. And Emma (5, eldest) is a whiner, who finds fault in all things - even if she is the one that dictated it. They're both adorable, generally well-behaved kids, but sheesh - can they whine.

Also, unlike my sister and I - who went to the cemeteries every year - these two were unfamiliar with the custom of not walking on or kicking headstones. I nearly melted with embarrassment/over-heat-ment (?) by the time we left. I'm pretty sure some long-deceased people did a 180 in their graves yesterday. Awesome. I really hope I don't get haunted because of this.

At least it was time to tan and relax after those exhausting three hours (was it only three hours? it felt like a whole day). Of course, my nieces are in love with the hose - and they sprayed everyone in the face at least once.

Always a nice treat when you're on a chair, eyes closed, stretched out like a cat.

So, here's to hoping no ghosts show up and possess my body and/or do me mass amounts of damage over the whole grave-disrespects. Sorry dead people? ...yeah.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Hell beasts, hyperventilation and greatest fears confirmed.

The morning from Hell.


I mean that quite literally.

After having finally fallen asleep at 2 in-the-goddamn-A.M. I was awoken three minutes to 5 in-the-holy-hell-A.M. by the sensation that something was c-r-a-w-l-i-n-g on me. Oh gods. It turned out to be true! I have never moved so fast in my whole life! I was up, I had my Home Defender spray in my hand in seconds and I let loose on my couch like it was WWIII and that spider was the ENEMY! It was no small pin-sized beast either!

I am forever scarred. Forever. And ever and ever and ever.

Now I'm up, showered and dressed and it's not even 6. Holy hell. I don't have to be to class until 9. I'm so fucking hyped up on fear and adrenaline right now, people. I'm pretty sure this must be my ultimate fear/paranoia/scenario-where-I-die.

At this point, I wish I was on Xanax. Because I can't stop hyperventilating and I cannot pass out - I will not be unconscious again - ever.

Holy HELL, PEOPLE.