To the FB whiners-

So, I'm thinking people need to be less ridiculous and caught up on themselves (says the girl with a personal blog that attempts to pander her life stories to an audience). I mean honestly, I remember high school pretty damn well. That's all I want - to remember it. I do not need daily reminders that people I went to high school with are still acting like they're in high school. Grow up? Move on? Stop crying like a whiny baby?

Too much? Possibly.

Or perhaps not enough?

I know that considering people's feelings is very important, and that we live in an anal-retentive PC culture (I'm guilty as charged majourity of the time!), but when did it come to the point where we forgo honesty in favour of sugar-coating every damn thing in half-constructed lies to make people feel like they're deserving human beings?

I don't think we should start telling kids that they'll end up failing at life, or that their greatest dream better be working as a gas station attendant, because there is no way that Timmy-the-glue-eater is getting into college.

But I am pretty sure that by the time you're in your early twenties that you should be able to handle criticism - and hell, even realistic thinking.

Whoa, whoa, back up the reality-train, right?

Wrong. There is no reason that a college student that is failing every course they have ever attempted to take, should think that they're going to get into Harvard Law any time soon (unless they've got one hell of a rich uncle to buy their way in).

I'm just saying, let's work in at least a little honesty - and stop with all the whining over ever little thing that has ever happened to you. Buck up, and be an adult about some stuff, and the things that you absolutely cannot bare to keep to yourself, well post those in moderation on your FB and Twitter.

Because I guarantee you, there is about 1/60 people that give a damn that that one person you were seeing for roughly .5 seconds dumped you/did you wrong.

And that one person is probably one of your relatives.

One of the nosy ones.

That wants to use the information to hurt you in some way.

That's all I've got to say about it for the moment, but I'm going to leave you with a comment that I put on my own FB that sums up my feelings on this subject quite well...

This message goes out to people on FB who complain that they have such horrendous problems. You’re right that guy/girl/something-or-other WAS a total jerkface loser who totally did NOT deserve you after you spent that whole week with them! And you’re right your mom/dad/sister/brother/third-cousin-with-the-missing-eye IS being a real meanie to you all the time! Jeez. And that teacher? They are DEFINITELY out to get you! I bet you get 100% on tests, and they just go back and change your answers so that you’ll look like a failure! That way they get the chance to endure you *again* the next year, because they have an agenda! …So, to all you people who feel you have a real need to share your ‘issues’ with every single person who doesn’t care, I ask you to stop, because when an actual problem arises in your life – FB will be the last place you’ll want to express it.

Supported, thankful and incredibly grateful.

So I'm taking a minute to count down my days till I'm done with this school year, and then I'll be back in the safe confines of my hometown.

Three.

Only three days.

I'm shocked, excited, nostalgic, perplexed and antsy all at the same time. I cannot believe this year has finally gotten over with - but I'm also shocked that it's over already. It's like having a duel timeline living inside my brain.

This has been the hardest year of my academic life, because coupled with a more challenging school environment - I was also faced with living alone for the first time ever, in a new city, where I knew so few people it was nearly ridiculous to have come at all.

But I did grow as a person. I found out I could do it, and that I wasn't helpless on my own. I'm a capable person; I'm a resourceful person; I'm able to confront problems and deal with them. These are things that, while I had guessed at before, I'm certain of now. However, I could not have learned any of these things if it weren't for the amazing people in my life.

I really could not have accomplished any of this if it weren't for all of you who've helped me through it - my friends who put up with my whining, bitching and moaning constantly. Those are the people I cannot thank enough, can not adore enough.

If it weren't for your willingness to put up with all my complaints and qualms, I would not have been able to keep (what's left of) my sanity during this extremely confusing time in my life. I know I could not have survived if it weren't for my friends who, even being miles away from me, stayed close to me.

Whether you're a new friend or an old friend, nearby or far away, I say thank you.

Everyone needs a support system, a group of people who they can turn to in times of need, in times of hardship - and I found out who those people are in my life; even if we're not able to always be present in each other's lives in the flesh, we're still able to share our woes and joys via so many other means of communication - whether it's Facebook, Twitter or just old fashioned emails.

I'm so incredibly grateful to have you all in my life, you are absolutely wonderful - each and every one of you.

Lucky escapes, therapeutic-creeping and fat-free basking.

Holy crap. I just realized how glad I am that all those could-have-been relationship possibilities did not work out.

Seriously, I don't think I've ever realized how lucky I am that those did not work out. I came to this glorious realization while perusing those specifically-left-unnamed-persons' Facebook pages. And wow. They're complete morons. I really think I might have some mismanaged poor-taste-in-potential-choices issues. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking. It appears I wasn't. Thank the gods that those potentialities either fizzled or migrated away. Because I'd be screwed in an uncomfortable way if they'd actually taken root, and had ended up fostering grossly ignorant illegitimate stupid infant attachment seedlings.

Even thinking of it makes me shudder. I was like this close (on several occasions) to being one half of an ugly (hairy, cancerous, 3-dimensional) mole on the face of global coupledom. For real, people.

I don't think I've ever realized just how reprehensible most of the guys my age are. I mean, honestly, what the hell guys? And wow, I really really don't know how to pick them. Or I do. If by "pick them" I refer to choosing the most dishonest, slovenly, two-faced future-alcoholics known to humankind. If I mean that, then damn, I'm good. Be jealous, y'all.

I think I cherish my singlehood much more now. And I think everyone should put aside their actual responsibilities for an hour once in awhile, and engage in a session of therapeutic-creeping. It is most definitely worth it.

Seriously, just look up those snotty bitches you hated in school/at work/etc, or those losers who dumped you - and just bask in how absolutely moronic they are. It will lift your spirits like no better-than-sex-cake ever has. And this way you won't gain an ounce.

You're welcome.

Relationships are really just ridiculous if you think about it. I mean, we all spend the first what - two months? - trying to be exactly what that special-somebody is looking for. Then we get comfortable and just give up trying at all. Awesome. What guy doesn't love his now hairy-legged girlfriend who no longer feels compelled to dress to impress? Or what girl doesn't want to be with her now paunch-stomached boyfriend who no long feels inhibited to hide his bodily functions in front of her?

Fairytale romance, y'all.